


Wild Geese

by notjustmom



Series: August Writing Prompts 2019 [13]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), M/M, Mary Oliver, Poetry, established Tony Stark/James "Rhodey" Rhodes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-09-06 17:54:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: This is a bit of an alternate universe, inspired by the scene after Tony collapses, and we see Rhodey remove Tony’s glasses from his face. In this verse, Tony and Rhodey are a couple, have been since they graduated from MIT.I did a bit of research to see if Mary Oliver ever spoke at MIT, and did not find any evidence for it, but found this article written by an MIT professor: http://web.mit.edu/fnl/vol/112/hilde.html.The poem I have Rhodey quote is ‘Wild Geese’ from Mary Oliver’s collection of poetry, Dream Works, published in 1986, which would have fit the time period of when the boys attended MIT.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vulpesmellifera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulpesmellifera/gifts).

> For Vulpesmellifera, who loves Mary Oliver, too.

Rhodey carefully removed Tony’s glasses from his face then glanced up at Pepper. She nodded at him, and after kissing his cheek, left them alone.

He sat down in the chair next to the bed and carefully took Tony’s hand in his and shook his head. “You need to stop doing this to yourself. No. That isn’t fair, you had, have every right to be angry, and it’s been eating you up inside for years.” He looked up at a knock on the door, and seeing it was Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head. He watched him leave then settled back into the chair. “I should have been there with you. We’ve always done this together, you and me, until now. And I know you feel abandoned, and I’m so sorry. I promised you, when we finally found you in Afghanistan that you wouldn’t be alone again, I’d always be there, and when you really needed me, I let you down.”

He paused and laid his hand in Tony’s hair and sighed. “How you managed to get this old, I’ll never know. Honestly, even at school - the stunts you pulled -”

“You mean the stunts we pulled, Platypus.” Tony whispered roughly, and tried to smile at him. “Half of those crazy things I did because you dared me to, and you knew from the moment we met, there wasn’t a dare I could resist. The crazier the better.”

Rhodey looked into the exhausted brown eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He placed Tony’s hand back under the lightweight blanket, and got up from the chair.

“Jimmy?”

“I’m not leaving.” He walked around to the other side of Tony’s bed and sat down on the edge, then removed the leg braces and carefully stretched out next to Tony. “Not leaving you again.” Tony slowly rolled against his shoulder and closed his eyes as he felt Rhodey’s arm around him. “You remember when Mary Oliver came to school to give a talk?”

“Course, I do, it’s when I knew.”

“Took you that long?” Rhodey whispered into his hair.

“I mean, I kinda knew before that, but, I was listening to her read, and then I looked over and you weren’t looking at her, but at me, and you didn’t look away, you gave me that smile, and I knew - I knew my dad would kill me, if he ever knew - and then she said…”

“You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on…”

Tony nodded, and whispered, “at that moment, I knew I didn’t give a damn what he thought, and you smiled at me, and ever since…”

Rhodey pressed his lips against Tony’s feverish forehead, then closed his eyes as he felt Tony settle against him and whispered, 

“Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.” 

“Love you, Platypus,” Tony mumbled as he drifted off to sleep again. 

“Yeah, love you, too, Tones, love you, too.”


	2. Listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This bit of a scene is shortly after Tony has returned from Afghanistan.
> 
> "Listen, whatever you see and love-   
that's where you are."
> 
> -Mary Oliver, from 'Luke's Junkyard Song'

“Hey.” Rhodey whispered into Tony’s hair, after they had both been startled awake by another nightmare, the third that week.

“Sorry.”

“Nope. Listen to me. You don’t get to apologize to me. I should apologize to you for taking so long to find you.”

Tony pulled up out of his arms and looked down into his eyes. “You, you were with me. No, I know - you weren’t, but you kept telling me not to give up. That you were looking for me. That you’d find me. And you did.” He leaned down closer and smiled carefully at him, then lightly brushed his lips over his forehead. “You found me, Rhodey.” He settled back into his arms and closed his eyes. “I’m back home because you didn’t give up on me.”

“I never will, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, Platypus, I know.” He laid his still bruised and battered hand over Rhodey’s chest and waited until he could feel his heartbeat in his fingertips, and finally truly believed he was home.


	3. The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...the stars began to burn  
through the sheets of clouds,  
and there was a new voice  
which you slowly  
recognized as your own...” 
> 
> -Mary Oliver, from "The Journey"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after Tony's crash landing on his first test flight

"What the hell?" Rhodey was at his side when he finally came to, and he glanced up at the hole above them, then back down at Tony. "Tony?"

"Test flight?" Tony mumbled, then groaned as Rhodey helped him to his feet. 

He gently lifted the mask from Tony's face and couldn't help but grin at the look in his eyes. "How was it?"

"Terrifying at first, and then, I forgot to be afraid, and it seemed like if I just went high enough, I could actually touch the stars. Even though I know - I felt everything, and nothing, all at once -"

Rhodey shook his head and kissed him, then whispered against his lips, "when is it my turn?"


	4. Dazzled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this verse, Rhodey was there fighting by Tony's side during the attack on New York. This is their wedding ceremony two days later.

Rhodey had wanted an outside wedding. Of course, the rain began, light at first at four that morning, and had become a torrential downpour at nine. It didn't matter, they simply moved furniture out of the way, they only needed room for the minister and the two witnesses. They didn't need a party, or even a cake, though Pepper had made sure they had one. 

Before the attack on New York, which had taken place two days earlier, Rhodey hadn't needed to be married to the man who stood in front of him now, impeccably dressed in a new tux, as Pepper had insisted. Something about something new - he had forgotten her exact words the minute she had placed Tony's hand carefully in his, the hand that was still battered and bruised from saving the city, from saving his team-

"Hey, Platypus." The dark brown eyes were sparkling at him and he couldn't remember the last time Tony had smiled, really smiled like he had just then, there was something child-like in his joy, and it was all he could do not to kiss him right then, but he took a breath, and let it go slowly as he felt Tony's fingers tighten around his.

The voice of the minister finally broke through his reverie:

"...Still, what I want in my life  
is to be willing  
to be dazzled —  
to cast aside the weight of facts

and maybe even  
to float a little  
above this difficult world.  
I want to believe I am looking

into the white fire of a great mystery.  
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing —  
that the light is everything — that it is more than the sum  
of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do."*

Rhodey watched the light in Tony's eyes change as if he were hearing the words for the very first time, instead of the hundredth, and he brought his right hand to his lips just as the first tear slid down his cheek. 

"I do, Rhodey. I do," Tony whispered as he wiped the tear from his best friend and sidekick's face.

"Yeah, I know, Tony." He looked over at the minister who nodded and took a step back. "When I saw you fly that nuke through the wormhole, I thought I had lost you, and I swore, I swore if you survived, you would know, how very much you are loved and needed. You are necessary, Tony, not just because you are crazy enough and strong enough to do the things you do without regard for yourself, but because I love you. I thought I knew how much, but I was wrong. When I saw you open your eyes and you started babbling about shawarma, I knew I had to marry you. I know, I know you know how I feel about you, how I've always felt about you, how I will always feel about you, but I didn't really understand -" His voice broke as Tony's eyes were filling up and spilling over, and the tears slipped down his face. "I'm -"

Tony shook his head, and looked up expectantly into Rhodey's eyes. "I did it because there was no other way - no other way I could get back to you. I knew the odds weren't great, okay, the odds were more than slightly against me getting back, but I had run out of ideas and options, and if I didn't make it, I knew you would be safe. That was all that mattered to me, making sure you were okay. You know that, right?"

Rhodey nodded, then took the offered ring from Happy's palm, and reached for Tony's trembling left hand, then spoke again. "I give you this ring in the hope that you will never doubt the love I have for you on those days when we argue about something stupid, like we do from time to time. I hope that when you look at this ring that you will know you are not alone, and that you know that you are cherished and adored, and so very loved, Tony Stark." He pushed the ring onto Tony's finger, then brushed a kiss over his knuckles and looked up into his eyes again. Eyes that had seen far too much.

Tony shook his head again, as if clearing cobwebs, then took the ring from Pepper, and reached out for Rhodey's hand. "I didn't know how much I wanted you to ask me to marry you until you asked me two days ago. At first I thought I was in the middle of a rare good dream, and then you kissed me, and I knew it was real." He wiped another tear from Rhodey's face and snorted. "For two tough guys, we are a sentimental lot, aren't we? To know that you are bound to me, and I am bound to you with rings and words and even a piece of paper means everything to me, and as I give you this ring, I want you to know I am yours, James Rhodes, heart and soul and body, as broken as I am, I trust in you and in your love for me, which I still try to understand at times. You have always found me when I get lost, and I trust that you always will. I swear to you I will try to keep idiotic acts of bravery down to a minimum from this day forward." He grinned as Rhodey couldn't help but laugh, then slid the ring onto Rhodey's finger and reached up to pull him into a long, breathtaking kiss.

The minister cleared his throat and muttered, "I pronounce you married, good luck to you both."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * from The Ponds:
> 
> The Ponds
> 
> Every year  
the lilies  
are so perfect  
I can hardly believe
> 
> their lapped light crowding  
the black,  
mid-summer ponds.  
Nobody could count all of them —
> 
> the muskrats swimming  
among the pads and the grasses  
can reach out  
their muscular arms and touch
> 
> only so many, they are that  
rife and wild.  
But what in this world  
is perfect?
> 
> I bend closer and see  
how this one is clearly lopsided —  
and that one wears an orange blight —  
and this one is a glossy cheek
> 
> half nibbled away —  
and that one is a slumped purse  
full of its own  
unstoppable decay.
> 
> Still, what I want in my life  
is to be willing  
to be dazzled —  
to cast aside the weight of facts
> 
> and maybe even  
to float a little  
above this difficult world.  
I want to believe I am looking
> 
> into the white fire of a great mystery.  
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing —  
that the light is everything — that it is more than the sum  
of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do.
> 
> -Mary Oliver


	5. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...It is a serious thing  
just to be alive  
on this fresh morning  
in this broken world..."
> 
> Mary Oliver, from 'Invitation'

It was still raining when Tony opened his eyes to find Rhodey still fast asleep, tucked around him. He took a breath, and let it go, then closed his eyes again and focused on the the sound of his husband's steady heart beat that reminded him that he was still there. That they were still both there, in spite of everything. 

He knew there was evil in the world, in the universe, but he also knew there was goodness, and love stronger than any darkness he had faced. He knew because he had found it long ago in the arms of the man who was slowly waking up next to him.

"Tony -" the normally strong voice sounded fragile and afraid.

He rolled in Rhodey's arms and pressed a kiss over the heart that was now racing. "I'm here, Platypus, I'm here."

"You won't leave."

"Not going anywhere without you."

"Promise?"

Tony nodded, and whispered, "I swear. My place is with you, it always has been, always will be." He felt Rhodey breathe out a sigh of relief into his hair, and his arms tightened around him once more, as he drifted off back to sleep. Tony opened his eyes and blinked against the midday sunlight, as the storm finally broke, and he knew, for the moment, the life he had found was perfect and indestructible.


End file.
